I love my job

I have not posted here about my job until today. It actually is something that I love doing and would want to continue for a very long time. I work in higher educationa dn I am an admissions/academic advisor for a major university in North Carolina. But, more importantly, I work for a great boss! She is my motivation in so many ways and is very supportive in everyhting that I do. It has taken me a good year to finally feel comfortable around her, but we are more like a team now than ever before. I love my job!

The jeans fit!

I bought a pair of size 22 blue jeans about 4 weeks ago. At that point, they did not even zip up, but I was not discouraged. And today, they zipped up. And I wore them!!! OMG, they are 2 sizes smaller than when I started this adventure! It is working and I am so happy. It may be coming off in small umbers, but the inches are coming off. I am learning this time to be more patient.

The weekly result

Well, fighting the demons paid off this week and I lost 1.2 pounds. This puts me below the 250 pound mark and for me, that is a big victory! I am now looking to go below 240 and I know that this will take a while, but, what the hell. I have little else to do with my life right now but to get healthy!!! That's a joke folks!
Another big decision that I have been toying with is to start and finish, a PhD program. Now that UNCW has gotten their Educational Leadership program almost started, I think that I am going to try to get this one done. It really makes more sense than doing another Master's level program ( as much fun as this one is) and it will ultimately lead me to the job area I want, which is higher education administration. And, if they will pay for it, why not?!

Fighting old demons

On my way home from class last night I had a major melt down! I started to feel so sorry for myself. Wanted to stop and eat at every fast food restaurant possible and top it off with an ice cream sundae! I was majorly ready to quit. These are my demons! I just can't seem to hold a charge for the duration. And I started thinking "why bother?" It's not like I am every going to get thin, right? Well, I fought the demons, stayed on the road for home and went in and went to bed. I thought about it a little while trying to fall asleep, decided I was too comfortable in bed, and fell asleep. I woke up this morning feeling much better about the whole thing! I want to be healthy, I know that I can eat whatever I want to eat, but in better portion sizes and made myself a healthy, on program breakfast and lunch to take to work. I know that this is just the beginning of the fight against my demons of old, but I am not quite ready to give in . I want to be healthy more than I wanted the ice cream sundae! For today, at least, the win is mine!

What is it going to take?

What is it going to take to stay on this journey? Well, not willpower, as that fades in the sunset. And, not just eating alone, without exercise. Not just exercise, because I may end up using that as an excuse to eat more.No, I think it is going to take a lot of planning for everyday and every occasion. I found that out when I tried to get thru an SCA event without prior planning. Wrong! I had no choices and I was so hungry that I ate everything that I could. So, prior planning is the key. But, will I end up getting tired of planning everything in advance? I have in the past and that is what killed my good intentions. I am going to have to talk this out with my leader and see what suggestions are out there.

Good week and some thoughts on commercials!

I actually gained .2 pounds this past week but that is a good week because I did have a rather lost weekend at Ymir. I knew I was going to gain and I really thought it would be a lot more. Since I really didn't exercise nor did I drink all my water and stuff, a .2 increase is pretty good. I got back on plan on Monday, so I should show a loss next week. If I don't, oh well. I refuse to let the scales rule my life anymore. I did that for most of my life and it hasn't worked for me. It is time to try something new!
Now, my ranting about commercials. Okay, so I am watching the program "I Lost It" on the Discovery channel. I watch this program usually every morning. And every morning, it is the same thing. The program showcases 2 people who have had remarkable weight losses, by a variety of means. And it is very uplifting to see how the weight loss has positively affected their lives. And every morning, the commercial that they show is for Keebler Fudge Cookies! It shows this river of fudge cascading down a lovely mountain of cookies while the elf is saying something like " That ends today's lecture on cookies. Any questions?" And of course, the elf students are drooling and falling over in the chair in a daze. This commercial is run at least 3 times during the program!!! All the other commercials basically talk about the newest low-fat cooking shows coming up on Discovery channels. Keebler must be paying a great deal of money to be showing this commercial so many times in a row during a WEIGHT LOSS SHOW! Come on people. Do you have to be so blatant about your marketing scheme? This is so obvious as to be obnoxious.
Ranting over.

Back on plan and weird dreams

Okay, so the two things don't actually go together but this is going on in my life right now. I got back on plan yesterday by journaling my food and taking a brisk 1 mile walk. Made me feel so much better after the wild weekend that I had. I know that I can let go once in awhile and still maintain control, whihc is a real breakthrough for me. In the past, I would have just said "screw it" and never looked back. But, I really want this lifestyle to work and I know that I have few choices. It is either get healthy or die. Simple as that!
The weird dream is another issue. As I have stated in a previous post, I life kind of an alternate life when I am away from work and that is with the Society for Creative Anachronism, my medieval group. This past weekend, we went to Raleigh for an event and I was Lady Katharine de la Vache for the whole weekend. Well, last night I dreamnt that Ralph had one Crown Tournament, an event where fighters contend to become King and their significant others become Queen. It is a big deal and for a whole year, you are caught up in living this dream. You wear a crown and you get dressed up in some very fancy garb and you attend events as the royal representative. It is a very big deal and a very important one. It also can be very demanding. Well, in this dream, Ralph won and I was freaking out because we would be King and Queen for Pennsic War, held every August in Pennsylvania. Unless you have been around the Society, you may not grasp the significance of this, but it scared the hell out of me in my dream! I kept telling my husband "We can't do this! We have never been Royalty and we know nothing about running a war!" Everybody around us seemed to be ignoring me. An Ralph wasn't too worried either. This is very weird because Ralph does not fight anymore. I wish I knew what it all meant.

More thought needed

I have come to the realization that if I am going to continue this journey, I am going to have to really think out my weekends. Especially if I want to continue to play in the SCA (my medieval group). We went up to Raleigh this past weekend for an event known as Ymir ( pronounced ...ee-mirror) and I did not plan much at all in the way of what we would be eating. As a consequence, we ate a lot! And not all of it was good-for-you food. I had cookies and cake ( a couple of pieces) and meat and bread and beans and....well, you get the picture ( and not a very pretty one at that). My problem here is that I find myself on such a strange schedule when we go to these things and I never can plan ahead nor have access to my cooler of food or a place to cook anything, so we catch things on the fly, so to speak. I want to really sit down and plan out hiow I am going to handle the next event that I go to ( which will be in a couple of weeks) so that this all out eating thing doesn't happen again.

Another 5 gone!

I weighed in this morning and lost 2.8 pounds so I made it to the next 5 pound marker of 15. Actually, I now have 17.4 gone and am looking at 2.6 to make it to 20 pounds. I am really kind of suprised because I did not drink as much water as I should have and only walked once this week. I did however, track everything I ate and stayed within my points allowance. I am so relaxed about this whole lifestyle now. We even went out to dinner last night to Golden Corral and I did very well with a large salad w/ vinegar, steamed broccoli, steamed carrots, a broasted chicken breast and some fruit. And I was happy. Didn't do bread, dessert or coffee. I was full and content.

Tea Drinker

I love tea! I really do. Especially during the winter monts when I struggle to stay warm here in my office. Since the door to the outside lies right outside my office door, I get a shot of icy air whenever someone comes into the building.l So, I drink hot tea. And I have discovered a way to make chai tea that is drinkable and low in points. I mix the spices needed (basically ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves) into fat free canned evaporated milk. I then mix a portion of it into a cup of brewed hot tea. 1/2 cup gives me one of my milk portion for the day and I can get at least 3 cups of tea out of it. Awesome!! Before, I was buying chai tea from my local coffee house and it was made out of sugared mix that was I am sure not very healthy for me. I do love it when I can trick myself into liking an alternative brew!!!

Relaxing at Home

I am a homebody, I will admit. I love to curl up in my chair with a good book or some knitting and just be at home. Now, when I was a young and naive child, I would think my parents were so old and stodgy cuz they would do the same thing. My, how the circle has gone around! Now, my 85 year mother is much more active than I am. It is really amazing what she can do and will do during the day. I envy the fact that she can do it all but I know that some days, she just doesn't have the energy or the stability to get moving. And that scares me. I think that she is getting more and more frail. I do not want to lose my mom and be an orphan. I hate growing older.

Lost 2.8

Yes folks, it was a great week. And we went out to eat twice. I am having fun now, trying to manipulate a menu to fit my eating lifestyle. I have found out that grilled shrimp and a plain baked sweet potatoe are a great dinner if you also have a salad with vinegar and oil and lots of water. This weekend, I may even have a small steak with my son when he comes home from college. The idea that inside of me, my body is literally jumping for joy, makes me giggle.

The news!

Yes folks, I have lost 2 1/2 inches in my waist since starting this new lifestyle! I cannot believe it. And, my clothes are now getting so big that my boss has suggested that I start wearing a belt, as she is tired of seeing me "hike up" my trousers. I feel so good and so motivated.

I have seriously thought about writing amemoir for my graduate thesis. Something along the lines of what this journey has been and is like. I know that a lot of people have written diet books and the like but, this would not be a how-to book as much as a what-has-always-gone- wrong book. More for myself than anybody else. Of course, this blog would be a part of it so folks, if you want to see some of your comments being used in my graduate thesis, please feel free to comment away! The program that I am undertaking is a liberal studies degree, so "liberal" is the theme here. They allow just about anyhting to be a subject for your paper. It does not need to be an academic study, although I will use statistics and numbers to relate the whole dieting experience that I have had. Any thoughts from you all regarding this?